What is the matter with me?

Why do I keep putting myself in situations where I know I will be hurt? Why do I keep people around that hurt me? Why am I stuck in this? I am so tired, so lonely, so lost and so tired of feeling sorry for myself. I can't stand this anymore. I don't know what to do. I keep trying to put myself out there, go do things because thats what is supposed to make me feel better. But the whole time I just want to be home, alone and tired. Whomever is up there, please ease my soul. My chest hurts from this.

I will be alone forever

won't I